This week’s channeled message is around the theme of self blame. Why are we so quick to blame ourselves and what does it actually do for us? The answer in one word: control.
Humans do not like to feel out of control and being in the unknown is the ultimate state of being out of control. Not knowing what is going to happen, how it’s going to happen, and/or why something is happening is really unsettling to our nervous systems. So what does our brain like to do? Make meaning to calm down. What’s the quickest and easiest way to make meaning? Have it be our own fault. If it’s our own fault then we can do something about it. However, this leads to secondary effects that are way more unpleasant and detrimental than sitting in the discomfort of the unknown.
Self blame creates a cycle of shame, rumination, and stagnancy. Because the culprit is probably not you, you therefore are unable to fix the situation. This causes more self blame and the cycle of shame, self doubt, negative self talk, and frustration continues. You are creating blocks and detours subconsciously because you are avoiding having patience, being present, and sitting with the uncomfortable feelings of not knowing.
A way to combat this is sitting with yourself and recognizing what you are feeling- perhaps discomfort, frustration, anxiety, anticipation, etc. How do you feel about sitting with these emotions? Probably not good. So giving yourself an accurate assessment of where you are at will help you to sit with the unknown versus creating a new pattern of negative behavior and core beliefs that will ultimately hold you back and only give you a false sense of control. It will be a self fulfilling prophecy by creating the blocks and hold ups you worry about.
Patience, presence, and widening your window of tolerance is how you allow yourself to receive and magnetize your wants and needs. Look at where perhaps you are blaming yourself to avoid sitting in the discomfort of the unknown. Try this exercise to become present and sit with the uncomfortable feelings and meditate on what it is you want to feel, where you feel it in your body and be present in that visualization. These are all the ways you unlock your magic and magnetize and call in your dream life.
